Such A Pretty Face

Woo hoo!!! Weighed in yesterday and am now down 12 lbs. OMG!!! I am sooo freakin happy. When I sat down and thought about it last night I realized that I am actually down 19 lbs from my highest weight. One week before starting WW, I weighed in at 312 lbs. Right then I knew something had to give. And for anyone who doubts WW, I have to say this… I did not have the self-discipline or the drive to do it all by myself. WW has shown me that I can do it. I see other women (and men too) who are in the exact same place as me at these meetings and I see others who are halfway to their goal, and then I see those who have reached their goal. All I know is that it was the right time in my life, the right place, and I am happier and feeling better than I have in months.

I know that many people can just go on a "diet" and lose the weight they want. I personally have a very hard time with this. However, using the FLEX plan that WW has given me allows me to stil eat things I like so I don't feel deprived. The points system makes me feel responsible and it becomes kind of like a game for me during the day to see if I can meet those points and STAY within my points. I hate borrowing points from the week.

And best of all… I have learned portion control. I was always told that I had to eat everything on my plate as a kid. I have forever heard that ringing in my head. Now I know I can walk away, take smaller portions, or do whatever.

The best moment was the other night at Red Lobster. Daughter had left for a week at Grandmas and so hubby and I decided to go out on a "date". The "OLD" me could have finished everything on my plate. I would have been totally miserable, but I would have finished the shrimp scampi, the Outer Banks Sampler, the 9 oz sirloin, the baked potato, the dinner salad, a couple of cheese biscuits, and half of the appetizer that hubby and I split.

That night, he and I shared a plate of these "egg roll" type things as an appetizer. They were fried so they were a huge treat for me… Then I ate all of my salad and half of a cheese biscuit. When the entree came, I was looking at it thinking I KNOW I will never finish this plate. I ate half of my sirloin, 1/3 of my scampi, and about 1/3 of the Outer Banks sampler…the baked potato went more than half eaten. I took the rest home and had a great lunch the next day. heheh…

NOW for the BAD news. Red Lobster sucks in that they do not have all of this nutrition information on their website. Why? They state that they do not list all of this information because their menu changes on a regular basis. Well… as long as I can remember (at least 2 years) I have been getting just about the exact same thing from them each time we go. Build your own platter type thing… Why not list it??? At least keep it somewhere so that those of us who need it can get it!!!

Then as I was browsing their site I discovered the "Lighthouse Menu". This is supposed to be the good healthy stuff. Well, no one there offered this menu to me. I would love to have seen it there. Yes, I could have asked, but I will no better next time.

But all in all, I have to say the thing is portion control. I still overdid it. Next time I will definately skip the fried thingies. They made my tummy roll all night. I realize now that the meals they serve are HUGE and can feed both my daughter and I!!! Hmmm… good idea for next time. hehe…

Okay folks, I am off to get ACTIVE.

Huggs!!!

Tia

WOO HOO!!! I weighed in today and lost 1.8 lbs for the week. That makes 9.8 lbs in all for the 3 weeks I have been on the program. This week is the week I am going to start enforcing my activity moreso because I know that will help. With hubby being home from surgery and daughter being home for summer it has been kind of crazy, but I have got to stay on task. I got some little gold stars and created a spread sheet so everytime I exercise for 30+ minutes per day, I get a gold star. There are 100 spaces on the spreadsheet to fill in. When I get to the end of that sheet, if I have at least 80 full spots, I am going to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure.

Mom sent me all of my baby pics this week and I was going thru them… thought I would share this with you. It is dated 1973, so I am somewhere between 2 and 3 years old….

Once upon a time there was a girl who had "such a pretty face".  She heard that frequently.  Not that she was considered pretty, just her face.  Those eyes… you know the story… or maybe you don't. If you are lucky… you don't know what it's like to live as just another pretty face.

As you can guess by the name on the blog "Such A Pretty Face"… it is something I have heard all of my life.  As far back as age 12 I began fighting my weight.  I can point out many factors in my life at that point that changed me and made me turn towards food.  Mostly the fact that my dad left for overseas (Air Force) and my mother insisted we stay behind to "keep the house intact"… Then she proceeded to start seeing another man the very next week… Within a year we had moved in to this mans house, my parents were divorced, and then within a little more time I came to the realization my mother was an alcoholic.  That on top of the fact I was a 5' 6" gangly looking preteen who was taller than all the boys in my class, stood out in my Mexico border town thanks to my bright red hair and my pale skin covered in freckles…  

Food became a relaxer.  I would eat in the evenings after my mom and step-dad went to bed…making spaghetti in the middle of the night.  Then in the summer of '84 I was so mad at myself because of my weight (then 145) and my step-dad put me on a diet.  I wanted to try out for the drill team and knew I had to be "skinny" to make it.  When it came time for tryouts I got in, but I was still living on salad with oil and vinegar dressing for dinner.  YUCK!!!  

Soon, that marriage ended for my mom and we were living alone (my younger sister ~ 9 years younger, myself, and my alcoholic mother.  She of course was the life of the party.  Everyone knew her (but did not know she was an alcoholic) and said how BEAUTIFUL she was.  Of course she was living on alcohol and weighed only 110lbs at that point.  I on the other hand was gaining weight and losing my spirit.  My days consisted of taking care of my sister, walking her to school, making sure she was fed, etc…and making sure mom was not passed out at the door in the morning for my sister to see.  I remember awaking one morning and she was half in the door and half out.  Her purse was strewn on the floor, everything thrown out, and her legs were outside on the front porch.   

So Ms. Pretty Face took care of things, called in sick for momma, took care of baby sister, joined theater in high school and discovered that was MY ESCAPE… of course I was still battling food addictions at home.  At age 16 I began to throw up after stuffing myself, hoping this would help.  Otherwise I would go to bed at night so full I could not sleep.  

At 18 I ran… not around the block… I ran to Las Vegas.  My best friend and I thought it would be cool.  I arrived in Vegas March of '89 weighing 180 lbs and between working 2 jobs (one as a maid at Sands and one at Taco Bell), I could have easily gained.  However, my car croaked the first month there and so I walked all over the place.  My little roach motel studio was halfway between each of my jobs so it worked out nicely.   By October  I was down to 140lbs.  My high school sweetheart showed up and did one of those "Marry me and I will sweep you off your feet" kind of things and I took it.  I wanted the hell out of LV.  I had seen enough drugs and alcohol to last me a lifetime and did not want to be part of it.  

I married on Valentines Day 1990 and was already battling my weight again.  My mom asked me what I was going to wear for my wedding.  I told her I would wear my black dress I had worn for the drama awards in high school.  Hahah… Instead I ended up in this vintage lacey looking thing… By June 1991 I was ready to get the hell out of California as my "dear husband" was either gone to the (Army) field all the time, or playing video games with his buddies… among other very immature things I would rather not mention.  

I returned to Texas and went to live with my mom and her NEW husband.  In Jan 1992 I joined Job Corps and met a sweet boy… just turned 18.  I was 21… Then in August I found out I was pregnant.  I got the most pleasant surprise of all in May 1993, a beautiful baby girl.  The "sperm donor" did not stick around long enough to ever get to know her… his loss.  But I had the gift of raising this precious child who will turn 13 in just a few days. 

We lived on welfare, food stamps, the whole thing… but we loved one another and we survived.  In November 2001, Chris came into my life.  I had been going into a severe depression and he was my life saver.  We have been married now for 4 yrs.  

On our wedding day I weighed 260.  On March 25th I went to the doctor, stepped on the scale and saw a number I said I never would see on MY scale.  200 was one thing… but this number was a KILLER!!!  The nurse kept moving the stupid thing over until it read 312.  OMG!!! I came home and I cried.  I knew I  HAD to do something.  I had tried many times.  Hubby even bought me a Y membership for Christmas last year.  But had I used it… only once so far.  For about a year now I have been considering gastric bypass… I really don't want to do this to my body.  I have seen success with one of my friends, but I have also heard that if you don't learn how to eat and change your HABITS, then it does you no good.  

So… I began talking to hubby about Weight Watchers… and here is where my NEW CHAPTER begins.